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Saving Yourself from Heartbreak in the Nick of Time (While Suffering From BPD)

I shoulda never listed to your woeful stories The ones I'm sure you told a thousand times before me THE FIRST TIME you traumatized me, I was 29. It was my initial year of graduate school and I had just moved back to the city. I was adapting to a new body; a better one, I thought, than the one that had given me so much trouble growing up. The one that made me hate myself.   (But you didn’t know that girl, and never bothered to get to know her.)     You got to meet the new me, the one that shed both the physical and metaphorical weight of my past. Our first date, I was disappointed. You looked like your pictures, sometimes, in certain lighting, but I didn’t feel any immediate attraction. You told me later it was love at first site for you. I found that so strange we had such different interpretations. I know now, that was a sign for me to not continue a romance with you…but this new me was attracted to your attraction to me. You weren’t like the other guys I had dated before, either;
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The Understated Genius of Black Rob and Buckwild's "Whoa". RIP

Artist : Black Rob Song : “Whoa” Producer :  Buckwild  Year:   2000   Take a peek at Buckwild's Wikipedia page if you wanna go down a fantastic rabbit hole and discover a bombastic discography of  quintessential  NY 90's hip hop songs. Coupled with his work alongside his Diggin in the Crates crew (a moniker for finding the best records to sample), which includes everyone from Lord Finesse to Fat Joe, proves Buckwild is an unsung legend.  Think Big L's "Put It On," Biggie Smalls' "I Got a Story to Tell," Jay-Z's "Lucky Me," Akinyele's "Sister, Sister." But nothing can compare to the sonic enterprise Buckwild and Black Rob embarked on when the two met on the 2000 track "Whoa."   In Rob's "Whoa," Buckwild's musicality and keen ear factor heavily as a major portion of the song's success. His crew's name is indeed integral to their production style when you dig a little further in

Ways to Earn Money if COVID is Threatening Your Employment

Hey Friends As someone who has had to find creative ways to work remotely for three+ years, I want to encourage you. All of you are smart and capable and there are some options for you while in the dark. Here are some resources I’ve used/ checked out and vouch for. This is not full-time work but perhaps can offer you a few pieces of financial opportunity if you're among so many that are out of work right now without knowledge of when you might be re-employed. Please try to be thoughtful of the communities who were already financially struggling BEFORE this happened. I'm not seeing any gofundmes for single working moms, especially Black and latina working mothers. Freelance Writing   1) Ultius.com 2) Writingcreek.com 3) There are SO many more just google Data Analysis 1) Appen 2) Lionscreek Cleaning out Your Closet for $$ 1) Ebay 2) Poshmark  Sign up →  Here  use my code JESSIEFEIGERT to save $10 3) Mercari 4) Threadup 5) Facebook marketplace

The Boy's Club: Songwriting, Capitalism, and Mariah Carey's Pyrrhic Victory

So it's probably good I didn't finish the update to my article on Mariah Carey's shunning in 2018 by the Songwriter's Hall of Fa me. Why? Well, because the glittery industry giant that is Carey is fresh off (we say this every decade) one of the most lucrative and successful years in her career; so naturally, Carey was  finally  inducted . I say finally because it took 3 consecutive nominations to get the win. Along with Annie Lenox's/ Eurythmics' induction, 33 women are now nestled together in the 'hall. Now, was it because of my hard-hitting investigative journalism that this happened? Yes, absolutely. Ok maybe not, but for my initial article I did genuinely try to rea ch out to the PR firm and had the following brief exchange to clarify how their process works and if they wanted to give a statement on the numbers of women inductees:  (Spoiler alert: I never heard back.) Since then it's becoming a lot more commonly discussed by the p

Depression is my full-time job: The pay is shit, I can't quit, and no one will love me

It's been a while since I wrote something personal here. I've navigated away from confessional-style writing because you can get a lot of shit for being so open and vulnerable and exposing the really dark sides of yourself. And you wonder, does it even matter? Shouldn't I write about an issue of some sort? Shouldn't I start to protect myself a bit more, because exposing myself hasn't exactly quelled the deep loneliness inside? But I'm really not the secret journaling type because I draw strength from others who share their own poignant yet dark truths for the sheer fact that if they don't, the revelations will seep out anyways until the seems burst; a blueberry Violet at Willy Wonka's factory. Somehow, sharing your ugly is more relieving than just writing it down and tucking it away like a shameful secret. And my attempts at writing impersonal pieces recently have proved fruitless. I've been grappling with how to keep up with the 24-hour mass

30 Days of Female MCs

This list is by NO MEANS: exhaustive, complete, ranked, compiled by the artist's best song, for educative purposes, overwhelmingly informative  I recognize that the sounds of Black women, as well as many women of color, are incredibly varied in rap but their contributions often don't get proper exposure. I want to make sure I listen to more of these stories. Any of my writing related to female rappers is -at least on a subconscious level- inspired by the work of Tricia Rose, specifically from  Black Noise,  her seminal research on rap music which you can buy here Day 30: June 30, 2019 Sasha Go Hard “Alone” I think the Alone video is a perfect place to stop. The masks, Sasha's barren face, the black and white footage, and the theme of societal betrayal reminds us that the female rapper, whether we like it or not, holds a unique position in hip hop. She serves as a mouthpiece for the many familial, sexual, and domestic roles and obligations that women-l